You know what I see and read all these blogs every single day, and there is one thing which is somehow comman in all the blogs is the thoughts, well not just anythought but thought about nostalgia and life only, I mean how the hell can everyone get one thought...either every one has de javu at the same time or everyone wants to be thought about as an intellectual I mean sometimes these blogs just sound a big crap and among these blogs also most of them are from India or Sout east Asia...man we guys really need to get a life
Anycase another weekend here so planning to get sloshed and sing at a karoke bar yet again...all my dreams and aspirations of slimming down have gone down the drain...every single time I would have this urge of slimming down so I would go ahead and find the best gym...pay a bomb to it then go and buy all branded gym clothes and shoes and go to the gym for exactly 2 days and forego all the expenses I dont know if it happens to you too...this time also I have done the same thing...enrolled into a gym for BHD 225 (675 USD) with a monthly expense of BHD 45 (USD 135) have bought clothes worth of BHD 200 (600 USD) for the gym and shoes for 115 BHD (USD 345) have also joined a dance class for USD 60 a month joined a squash and tennis club for USD 80 each and here I am 3 weeks into all the memberships that I have taken and total number of classes is 3 (well it seems to be my personal best in Solapur it was 2 classes), guess i can safely assume and find comfort in the fact that I am atleast 1 class more than the last time
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Very Interesting Religion
Yesterday was listening to Mr. Zakir Naik a well known islamic teacher cursing hinduism and chritanity on peace tv and how we all non believers are going to hell whereas a practising muslim is going to heave, u know you would actually believe tht guy with the way he quoates scripts but then I guess I am fine being non believer although the way he said about heaven in islam intrigued me to alot about knowing what does islamic heaven has to offer and this is what I got
The highest spiritual attainment in Islam is entering Allah’s Paradise and live there for eternity. On the ‘Day of Resurrection’ or Qiyamah, Allah will forgive every sin of his beloved believers and allow them to enter his Paradise due to the only merit of their belief in Allah’s Koran and the Prophet-hood of Muhammad, or simply for the merit of believing in the first Kalima or Kalima Taib that reads, La Ilaha Illallah, Mohmmadur Rasulullah. (or Allah is the only God to be worshiped and Muhammad is his messenger). On that day, Allah will raise each and every human being from their graves and assemble them to assess their deeds in this world and hence to send them to either hell or heaven. The people would be assembled on the Day of Resurrection bare footed, naked and uncircumcised (Sahih Muslim: 6844, 6846, 6847). It should be noted here that Islamic scriptures gives no clue whether Allah is circumcised.
In one occasion Ayesha asked, “Will the male and the female be together on that day and would they be looking at one another?” Allah’s Messenger visibly became annoyed with this vexed question and replied, “The matter would be too serious for them to look at one another” (Sahih Muslim: 6844). “On the Day of Resurrection, Allah would bring the sun very close to the people and there would be left only a distance of one mile” (Sahih Muslim: 6852). After the judgement, each and every Muslim, due to the merit of believing in Allah’s Koran and the Allah’s Prophet Muhammad, would be admitted into the paradise, while the entire lot of non-Muslims (kafirs) will be thrown into hell-fire. It should also be mentioned here that, Allah will be extremely cruel to Hindus as they are idolatrous. So Koran says, “You (the disbelievers or the kafirs) and all your idols shall be the fuel of Hell; therein you all go down. Were they true gods, your idols would not go there; but in they shall abide for ever. They shall groan with pain and be bereft of hearing”(21:98-100). One should notice that Almighty Allah did not say how he would raise the people who cremate the dead. Perhaps the all-knowing Allah, at the time of revealing the Koran, was not aware that some people did not bury their dead but cremate.
The wisdom of Allah has created eight kinds of heavens to maintain a hierarchy among the believers and these are (1) Kheld, (2) Dar-es-salam, (3) Darul, (4) Adan, (5) Nayeem, (6) Mawa, (7) Alluyin and (8) Ferdaus. Best places of the Paradise are reserved for Prophets, the martyrs of jihad and ghazis or slayers of infidels. So the Koran says “We shall pardon your (believers’) evil deeds admit you with all honour to Paradise” (4.31). “Allah will not forgive those who serve other gods besides him... He that serves other gods besides him is guilty of a heinous sin (shirk)” (4.48). “Allah will not forgive idolatry. He will forgive all other sins. He says that, who serves other gods besides Allah, has strayed far from the truth” (4.116). “Allah will do away with their (believers’) foulest deeds” (39,35). As mentioned above, the believers would find places in different kinds of Paradise according to their hierarchy, and hence the Koran says-“The (common) inmates of the paradise will look to the upper apartment of the paradise as you see the planets in the sky (Sahih Muslim: 6788 & 6789). And all those, who do not believe in Islam, will be thrown into hell-fire.
The fire in Hell would be quite different from ordinary fire. It would be 70 times more intense than mundane fire (Sahih Muslim: 6811). The wisdom of Allah has created seven categories of Hell to suit different kinds of kafirs and the intensity of fire and height of the flames will be different in these Hells. In some Hell, fire will reach the ankles, somewhere it will reach the knees, somewhere to the waist and somewhere to the collar-bone (SM: 6815, 6816). Hindus are not simple kafirs, but kafirs of the worst kind, as they are idol worshipers (or mushriks). As a punishment for this fault as well as for the most serious fault of creating partners to Allah by way of worshiping other gods, they would be thrown into Havia, the most tormenting Hell, where the flames of hell-fire would reach one’s scalp. While the Jews and Christians, for their merit of not being idolatrous, would be thrown into less tormenting Hells.
“In this eternal Hell-fire, Allah would roast the kafirs again and again, and every time He will replace their skins with new ones, so that they could suffer this inhuman torture without any pause” (Koran- 4:56). There will be no death for the inmates of the Paradise and no death for the inmates of the Hell (SM: 6827, 6829), and this announcement will increase the delight of the dwellers of the Paradise, while it would increase the grief of the inmates of the Hell (SM: 6830). Furthermore, the kafirs in Hell would have very strange appearances. For example, the molar teeth or the canine teeth of an unbeliever in Hell would be like Uhud (a hill in the neighbourhood of Mecca) and the thickness of his skin would be three night’s journey (SM: 6831) and the distance between his two shoulders would also be three night’s journey for a swift rider (SM: 6832). Muhammad has seen Amr bin Luhayy bin Qama, brother of Bani Ka’b, dragging his intestines in Hell fire (SM:6838), for the sin of introducing idolatry in Arabia.
BELIEVERS IN PARADISE
While the unbelievers will perish in Hell, the believers, though fallen and evil doers, will joyfully enter Allah’s Paradise where rivers of pure water, milk, pure honey and divine wine are flowing and the Koran says:
“Allah will do away with their foulest deeds” (39:35).
“As for those who led the way, the First of the muhajirs (Muslims migrated from Mecca to Medina) and the ansar (Muslims of Medina who helped muhajirs), and those who nobly followed them, Allah is pleased with them and they with Him. He has prepared for them gardens watered by running streams, where they shall dwell for ever. That is the supreme triumph”(9:100).
“He will forgive, you your sins and admit you to gardens watered by running streams; He will lodge you in pleasant mansions in the garden of Eden. That is the supreme triumph”(61:12).
“This is the Paradise which the righteous (Muslims) have been promised. There shall flow in it rivers of unpolluted water, and rivers of ever fresh milk; rivers of delectable wine and rivers of clearest honey. They shall eat therein every fruit and receive forgiveness from their Lord” (47.15).
In a hadith narrated by Abu Huraira, a close companion of prophet Muhammad, Allah, the Exalted and Glorious, said,
“I have prepared (the paradise) for My pious servants which no eye has ever seen, no ear has ever heard, and no human heart has ever perceived but it is testified by the book of Allah. … No soul knows what comfort has been concealed from them, as a reward for what they did” (Sahih Muslim: 6779, 6780, 6781, 6782 & 6783).
“In paradise, there is a street to which they (the inmates of paradise) would come every Friday, the north wind will blow and would scatter fragrance on their faces and on their clothes and would add to their beauty and loveliness” (Sahih Muslim: 6792).
“In paradise, there is a tree under the shadow of which a rider of a fine and swift footed horse would travel for a hundred years without covering the distance completely” (Sahih Muslim: 6784, 6785, 6786 & 6787).
“In paradise there would be for a believer a tent made of a single hollowed pearl the breath of which would be sixty miles” (Sahih Muslim: 6804).
“… the breath of which would be sixty miles from all sides” (Sahih Muslim: 6805).
“The height of which would be sixty miles. In each corner, there would be a family of the believer, out of sight of the other” (Sahih Muslim: 6806).
“In paradise there would be two rivers Saiban and Jaiban. Beside that, people would find Euphrates and Nile are all among the rivers of paradise” (Sahih Muslim: 6807).
To describe Islamic Paradise, Sir W. Muir writes,
“Rest and passive enjoyment; verdant gardens watered by murmuring rivulets, wherein the believers, clothed in green silk brocades and silver ornaments, repose beneath the wide-spreading shade on couches well furnished with cushions and carpets, drink the sweet waters of the fountains, and quaff aromatic wines such as the Arab loved from goblets placed before them or handed round in silver cups resplendent as glass by beautiful youths; while clusters fruit hang close by inviting the hand to gather them; - such is the paradise framed to captivate the inhabitant of the thirsty sterile Mecca”. Another element is soon added to complete the Paradise of the pleasure-loving Arabs –”Theirs shall be gardens and vineyards, and damsels with swelling bosoms, of an equal age, and a full cup” (78,31).
“In the oft described shady garden ‘with fruits and meats, and beakers of wine causing not the head to ache, neither disturbing the reason”, these damsels of the paradise are introduced as “Lovely large-eyed girls resembling pearls hidden in their shells, a reward for that which the faithful have wrought. …Verily We have created them of a rare creation; We have made them virgins, fascinating, of an equal age” (52:21).
The believers after entering Paradise would assume completely changed appearances and hence the hadith of Sahih Muslim says,
“The (members) of the first group to get into the paradise would have their faces as bright as full moon during the night, and the next group would have their faces as bright as the shining stars in the sky” (Sahih Muslim: 6793).
Not only their appearances but also their physiology as well as metabolic activities would also be greatly altered.
“The members of the first group that would be admitted to the paradise would have their faces as bright as the full moon during the night. They would neither spit nor suffer catarrh, nor void excrement. They would have their utensils and their combs made of gold and silver and the fuel of their braziers would be aloes and their sweat will be musk and every one of them would have two spouses (so beautiful) that the marrow of their shanks would be visible through the flesh. There would be no dissension amongst them and no enmity in their hearts”. (Sahih Muslim: 6797, 6798, 6800).
“They (the dwellers of paradise) would neither pass water, nor void excrement, nor will they suffer from catarrh, nor will they spit, and their combs would be made of gold, and their sweat will be musk, the fuel of their brazier will be aloes, and their wives will be large-eyed maidens and their form would be alike as one single person after the form of their father (Adam) sixty cubits tall” (Sahih Muslim: 6795, 6796).
To describe His Paradise, Allah, in Koran, says,
“The righteous shall surely dwell in bliss. Reclining upon soft couches they will gaze around them; and in their faces you shall mark the glow of joy. They shall drink of a pure wine, securely sealed, whose very dregs are musk, for this let all men emulously strive; a wine tempered with the waters of Tasnim, a spring at which the favoured will refresh themselves” (36.5-22).
“But the true servants of Allah shall be well provided for, feasting on fruit, and honoured in the gardens of delight. Reclining face to face upon soft couches, they shall be served with a goblet filled at a gushing fountain, white and delicious to those who drink. It will neither dull their senses nor befuddle them” (37: 47).
“As for the righteous, they shall surely triumph. Theirs shall be gardens and vineyards, and high-bosomed maidens for companions: a truly overflowing cup” (78: 31).
“But in fair gardens the righteous shall dwell in bliss, rejoicing in what their Lord will give them. They shall recline on couches ranged in rows. To dark-eyes houris, We shall wed them. Fruits we shall give them, and such meats as they desire. They will pass from hand to hand a cup inspiring no idle talk, no sinful urge; and there shall wait on them young boys of their own as Fair as virgin pearls” (52:17-24).
“But for those that fear the majesty of their Lord there are two gardens planted with shady trees. Which of your Lord's blessings would you deny? Each is watered by a flowing spring. Each bears every kind of fruit in pairs. They shall recline on couches lined with thick brocade, and within their reach will hang the fruits of both gardens.” (55: 46-55)
“The righteous shall drink of a cup tempered at the Camphor Fountain, a gushing spring at which the servants of Allah will refresh themselves: Allah will, reward them for their steadfastness with robes of silk and the delights of Paradise. Reclining there upon soft couches, they shall feel neither the scorching heat nor the biting cold. Trees will spread their shade around them, and fruits will hang in clusters over them. They shall be served with silver dishes, and beakers as large as goblets; silver goblets which they themselves shall measure; and cups brim-full with ginger- flavoured water from the Fount of Selsabil.” (76:5-18)
“On that day there shall be radiant laces, of men well-pleased with their labours, in a lofty garden. There they shall hear no idle talk. A gushing fountain shall be there, and raised soft couches with goblets placed before them; silken cushions ranged in order and carpets richly spread” (88:8-16).
“The righteous shall surely dwell in bliss. Reclining upon soft couches they will gaze around them: and in their faces you shall mark the glow of joy. They shall drink pure wine, securely sealed, whose very dregs are musk, for this let all men emulously strive; a wine tempered with the waters of Tasnim, a spring at which the favoured will refresh themselves”. (83:22-28)
HOURIS
The chief attractions of Allah’s Paradise are houris or Heavenly damsels, who are virgins, chaste, dark eyed with swelling bosoms (perhaps comparable to Uhud) and never become older than 16 and the Koran says,
“as for the righteous, they shall surely triumph. Theirs shall be gardens and vineyards, and high-bosomed maidens for companions: a truly overflowing cup” (78:31-34).
“They shall sit with bashful, dark-eyed virgins, as chaste as the sheltered eggs of ostriches. Surely that is the supreme triumph. Let every man labour to achieve it” (37; 48-50).
“And theirs shall be dark-eyed houris, chaste as hidden pearls: a guerdon for their deeds. They shall recline on couches raised on high in the shade of thornless sidrahs and clusters of talh; amidst gushing waters and abundant fruits, unforbidden. never-ending. We created houris and made them virgins, loving companions for those on the right hand: a multitude from the men of old, and a multitude from the later”. (56:22-40).
“They (the dwellers of Paradise) shall live with bashful virgins whom neither man nor jinnee will have touched before. They would be virgins, as fair as corals and rubies. Which of your Lord's blessings would you deny? And beside these there shall be two other gardens of darkest green. A gushing fountain shall flow in each. Each planted with fruit-trees, the palm and the pomegranate. In each there shall be virgins chaste and fair. Which of your Lord's blessings would you deny? Dark-eyed virgins sheltered in their tents whom neither man nor jinnee will have touched before. They shall recline on green cushions and rich carpets. Which of your Lord's blessings would you deny? Blessed be the name of your Lord, the Lord of majesty and glory!” (55:56-78).
“As for the righteous, they shall dwell in peace together amidst gardens and fountains, arrayed in rich silks and fine brocade. Yes, and we shall wed them, to dark-eyed houris. Secure against all ills, they shall call for every kind of fruit; and, having died once, they shall die no more. Your Lord will, through His mercy, shield them from the scourge of Hell. That will be the supreme triumph.” (44:51-57)
“There would be an announcer in Paradise who would make this announcement: Verily, there is in store for you (everlasting) health and that you should never fall ill and that you live (for ever) and do not die at all. And that you would remain young and never grow old. …This is Paradise. You have been made to inherit it for what you used to do” (Sahih Muslim: 6803).
Regarding these houris, Sir W. Muir says,
“It is remarkable that the notices in the Koran of this voluptuous paradise are almost confined to a time when, whatever the tendency of his desires, Mohammad was living a chaste and temperate life with a wife threescore years of age” (Life of Mahomet, Voice of India, New Delhi, 1992, pp-76).
There is another point to note. So long the Prophet lived in Mecca with his only wife Khadija, houris were simply rewards of Allah. But later, after the death of Khadija, when the Prophet started marrying several wives, houris became legal wives. So Allah said,
“Every person would have two wives and the marrow of their shanks would glimmer beneath the flesh and there would be none without a wife in paradise” (Sahih Muslim: 6793).
It is not clearly specified how many of these heavenly damsels a believer in Paradise would get. As quoted above, somewhere Allah says that each believer would get two houries as their wives. Somewhere Allah promises many, e.g. He allots 72 of them for the saheeds (or martyrs), who die in fighting for Allah’s cause. But extreme sensuality of the Prophet of Arabia has been reflected in a hadith narrated by Abu Huraira, that says, even the most wretched, the most fallen believer in Allah’s Paradise would own a vast compound which would contain seventy mansions of pearls, every mansion would contain seventy houses of rubies, every house would have seventy rooms of emeralds, every room would contain seventy couches, and every couch would be covered with seventy carpets of every colour, and a houri would be sitting on each carpet. Furthermore, every such above mentioned rooms would have seventy tables laid out, and on every table there would be seventy dishes of seventy colours and every room would also have seventy maid slaves. Every believer would have the capability of copulating with each of these houris and maids. Simple calculations will show that the believer will get (70 x 70 x 70 x 70 x 70=) 1,680,700,000 or 1.6807 billion houris. (Ram Swarup, Understanding Islam Through Hadis, Voice of India, New Delhi, 1983, p-205).
According another hadith narrated by Abu Sa’id, all these women would put on see-through garments. “Each houri will have seventy garments, but the believer will be able to look through them and see the marrow of the bones of her legs”. Every houri will have a crown on her head, the meanest pearl of which would give light between the east and the west. According to another tradition mentioned by Aldous Huxley, every orgasm in Allah’s Paradise would last for 600 years (Aldous Huxley, Moksha, Chatto & Windus, London, 1980, p-112).
GELEMANS
Perhaps no worldly brothel has quite a good stock of young boys, to be offered to the customers to do sodomy. But in the Islamic Paradise, by the grace of most merciful Allah, each and every believer will be supplied with plenty of most charming, beautiful and obedient Heavenly young boys, called gelemans, to do sodomy with them, and hence the Koran says,
“They shall be attended by boys graced with eternal youth, who to the beholder's eyes will seem like sprinkled pearls. When you gaze upon that scene you will behold a kingdom blissful and glorious. They shall be arrayed in garments of fine green silk and rich brocade, and adorned with bracelets of silver. Their Lord will give them pure beverages to drink. Thus you shall be rewarded; your high endeavours are gratifying to Allah” (76:19-22).
“They shall be brought near to their Lord in the gardens of delight. They shall recline on jewelled couches face to face, and there shall wait on them immortal youths with bowls and ewers and a cup of purest wine, that will neither pain their heads nor take away their reason; with fruits of their own choice and flesh of fowls that they relish” (56: 11-21).
How many of these heavenly boys or gelemans a believer will own in Allah’s Paradise? A tradition says that every believer in Paradise, irrespective of his hierarchy, will own 1000 gelemans. According to another hadith narrated by Anas, everyone will get 10,000 slaves. According to a hadith narrated by Abu Sa’id, the number of slave boys, a believer will own, will be not less than 1000 and not more than 80,000 (Ram Swarup, ibid, p-205).
From the above discussions it becomes evident that Most Merciful Allah offers, in the name of Paradise, a super luxury and five star brothel to His beloved believers. There are three main aspects of a mundane brothel and they are,
(1) good food,
(2) good wine and
(3) charming women and Allah’s brothel called Paradise provides all the three in profuse quantities and that too absolutely free of cost.
In addition to that, the articles in Allah’s brothel would bear some divine qualities which can never be obtained in a worldly brothel. To mention a few are,
(a) wine in Allah’s brothel does not cause the head to ache,
(b) that wine would be securely sealed, whose very dregs are musk,
(c) the visitors of Allah’s brothel would neither pass water, nor void excrement, nor will they suffer from catarrh, nor will they spit,
(d) they would eat divine fruits and desired preparations of meat,
(e) the dark-eyed women of Allah’s brothel would always remain virgins and chaste,
(f) they would not get older than sweet sixteen,
(g) they would wear see-through garments,
(h) the visitors of the Allah’s brothel would be able to see the marrow of their bones, and above all
(i) every orgasm in Allah’s brothel with these heavenly damsels would last for 600 years.
In addition to all the above mentioned facilities, Allah’s brothel would offer another unique amenity. The visitors would be provided with pretty young boys, who would never be older than 16, for doing sodomy. Most importantly, Allah will provide all these facilities absolutely free of cost. One should also notice the tremendous insult that has been committed to woman virtue in Alla’s Paradise.
SOME OTHER FEATURES OF ALLAH’S BROTHEL
A Bengali author, Mr. A T M Rafiqul Hasan, in his book Aat Behest O Saat Dojokh (Eight kinds of Heaven and Seven Kinds of Hell, Muslim Library, Calcutta, 2003), has clarified some other rare aspects of Allah’s brothel. For example, a grape of Allah’s Paradise would contain enough juice to fill up a cask and a date palm of Paradise would be as long as twelve cubits that would not bear any seed. The trees in Allah’s Paradise would be capable of playing any kind of movement including walking. If an inmate of Paradise desires to taste a fruit, even of a distant tree, the tree would come near to him and push the desired fruit into his mouth.
It has been mentioned above that a visitor of Allah’s brothel would be able to copulate with billions of heavenly damsels or houris. But what would be the nature of ejaculation of such copulations? Mr. Rafiqul Hasan has thrown considerable light on this aspect of Allah’s brothel. He narrates that, one day a companion of the Prophet asked him to enlighten him on this matter and in his reply the Prophet said that, ejaculation of semen in Allah’s brothel would be entirely different from an ejaculation in this world:
Firstly, the semen on an inmate of Allah’s brothel would be a puff of fragrant air and an ejaculation of this peculiar semen would give the inmates a million times more pleasure than and worldly ejaculation.
Secondly, the worldly ejaculation diminishes the vigour and energy of the man. But it would be entirely opposite in Allah’s brothel. An ejaculation in Allah’s brothel would increase the vigour of the inmate by million times.
You know after reading all this I guess I too want to convert to islam not for the love of Allah but my pervert imagination of fun in heaven
The highest spiritual attainment in Islam is entering Allah’s Paradise and live there for eternity. On the ‘Day of Resurrection’ or Qiyamah, Allah will forgive every sin of his beloved believers and allow them to enter his Paradise due to the only merit of their belief in Allah’s Koran and the Prophet-hood of Muhammad, or simply for the merit of believing in the first Kalima or Kalima Taib that reads, La Ilaha Illallah, Mohmmadur Rasulullah. (or Allah is the only God to be worshiped and Muhammad is his messenger). On that day, Allah will raise each and every human being from their graves and assemble them to assess their deeds in this world and hence to send them to either hell or heaven. The people would be assembled on the Day of Resurrection bare footed, naked and uncircumcised (Sahih Muslim: 6844, 6846, 6847). It should be noted here that Islamic scriptures gives no clue whether Allah is circumcised.
In one occasion Ayesha asked, “Will the male and the female be together on that day and would they be looking at one another?” Allah’s Messenger visibly became annoyed with this vexed question and replied, “The matter would be too serious for them to look at one another” (Sahih Muslim: 6844). “On the Day of Resurrection, Allah would bring the sun very close to the people and there would be left only a distance of one mile” (Sahih Muslim: 6852). After the judgement, each and every Muslim, due to the merit of believing in Allah’s Koran and the Allah’s Prophet Muhammad, would be admitted into the paradise, while the entire lot of non-Muslims (kafirs) will be thrown into hell-fire. It should also be mentioned here that, Allah will be extremely cruel to Hindus as they are idolatrous. So Koran says, “You (the disbelievers or the kafirs) and all your idols shall be the fuel of Hell; therein you all go down. Were they true gods, your idols would not go there; but in they shall abide for ever. They shall groan with pain and be bereft of hearing”(21:98-100). One should notice that Almighty Allah did not say how he would raise the people who cremate the dead. Perhaps the all-knowing Allah, at the time of revealing the Koran, was not aware that some people did not bury their dead but cremate.
The wisdom of Allah has created eight kinds of heavens to maintain a hierarchy among the believers and these are (1) Kheld, (2) Dar-es-salam, (3) Darul, (4) Adan, (5) Nayeem, (6) Mawa, (7) Alluyin and (8) Ferdaus. Best places of the Paradise are reserved for Prophets, the martyrs of jihad and ghazis or slayers of infidels. So the Koran says “We shall pardon your (believers’) evil deeds admit you with all honour to Paradise” (4.31). “Allah will not forgive those who serve other gods besides him... He that serves other gods besides him is guilty of a heinous sin (shirk)” (4.48). “Allah will not forgive idolatry. He will forgive all other sins. He says that, who serves other gods besides Allah, has strayed far from the truth” (4.116). “Allah will do away with their (believers’) foulest deeds” (39,35). As mentioned above, the believers would find places in different kinds of Paradise according to their hierarchy, and hence the Koran says-“The (common) inmates of the paradise will look to the upper apartment of the paradise as you see the planets in the sky (Sahih Muslim: 6788 & 6789). And all those, who do not believe in Islam, will be thrown into hell-fire.
The fire in Hell would be quite different from ordinary fire. It would be 70 times more intense than mundane fire (Sahih Muslim: 6811). The wisdom of Allah has created seven categories of Hell to suit different kinds of kafirs and the intensity of fire and height of the flames will be different in these Hells. In some Hell, fire will reach the ankles, somewhere it will reach the knees, somewhere to the waist and somewhere to the collar-bone (SM: 6815, 6816). Hindus are not simple kafirs, but kafirs of the worst kind, as they are idol worshipers (or mushriks). As a punishment for this fault as well as for the most serious fault of creating partners to Allah by way of worshiping other gods, they would be thrown into Havia, the most tormenting Hell, where the flames of hell-fire would reach one’s scalp. While the Jews and Christians, for their merit of not being idolatrous, would be thrown into less tormenting Hells.
“In this eternal Hell-fire, Allah would roast the kafirs again and again, and every time He will replace their skins with new ones, so that they could suffer this inhuman torture without any pause” (Koran- 4:56). There will be no death for the inmates of the Paradise and no death for the inmates of the Hell (SM: 6827, 6829), and this announcement will increase the delight of the dwellers of the Paradise, while it would increase the grief of the inmates of the Hell (SM: 6830). Furthermore, the kafirs in Hell would have very strange appearances. For example, the molar teeth or the canine teeth of an unbeliever in Hell would be like Uhud (a hill in the neighbourhood of Mecca) and the thickness of his skin would be three night’s journey (SM: 6831) and the distance between his two shoulders would also be three night’s journey for a swift rider (SM: 6832). Muhammad has seen Amr bin Luhayy bin Qama, brother of Bani Ka’b, dragging his intestines in Hell fire (SM:6838), for the sin of introducing idolatry in Arabia.
BELIEVERS IN PARADISE
While the unbelievers will perish in Hell, the believers, though fallen and evil doers, will joyfully enter Allah’s Paradise where rivers of pure water, milk, pure honey and divine wine are flowing and the Koran says:
“Allah will do away with their foulest deeds” (39:35).
“As for those who led the way, the First of the muhajirs (Muslims migrated from Mecca to Medina) and the ansar (Muslims of Medina who helped muhajirs), and those who nobly followed them, Allah is pleased with them and they with Him. He has prepared for them gardens watered by running streams, where they shall dwell for ever. That is the supreme triumph”(9:100).
“He will forgive, you your sins and admit you to gardens watered by running streams; He will lodge you in pleasant mansions in the garden of Eden. That is the supreme triumph”(61:12).
“This is the Paradise which the righteous (Muslims) have been promised. There shall flow in it rivers of unpolluted water, and rivers of ever fresh milk; rivers of delectable wine and rivers of clearest honey. They shall eat therein every fruit and receive forgiveness from their Lord” (47.15).
In a hadith narrated by Abu Huraira, a close companion of prophet Muhammad, Allah, the Exalted and Glorious, said,
“I have prepared (the paradise) for My pious servants which no eye has ever seen, no ear has ever heard, and no human heart has ever perceived but it is testified by the book of Allah. … No soul knows what comfort has been concealed from them, as a reward for what they did” (Sahih Muslim: 6779, 6780, 6781, 6782 & 6783).
“In paradise, there is a street to which they (the inmates of paradise) would come every Friday, the north wind will blow and would scatter fragrance on their faces and on their clothes and would add to their beauty and loveliness” (Sahih Muslim: 6792).
“In paradise, there is a tree under the shadow of which a rider of a fine and swift footed horse would travel for a hundred years without covering the distance completely” (Sahih Muslim: 6784, 6785, 6786 & 6787).
“In paradise there would be for a believer a tent made of a single hollowed pearl the breath of which would be sixty miles” (Sahih Muslim: 6804).
“… the breath of which would be sixty miles from all sides” (Sahih Muslim: 6805).
“The height of which would be sixty miles. In each corner, there would be a family of the believer, out of sight of the other” (Sahih Muslim: 6806).
“In paradise there would be two rivers Saiban and Jaiban. Beside that, people would find Euphrates and Nile are all among the rivers of paradise” (Sahih Muslim: 6807).
To describe Islamic Paradise, Sir W. Muir writes,
“Rest and passive enjoyment; verdant gardens watered by murmuring rivulets, wherein the believers, clothed in green silk brocades and silver ornaments, repose beneath the wide-spreading shade on couches well furnished with cushions and carpets, drink the sweet waters of the fountains, and quaff aromatic wines such as the Arab loved from goblets placed before them or handed round in silver cups resplendent as glass by beautiful youths; while clusters fruit hang close by inviting the hand to gather them; - such is the paradise framed to captivate the inhabitant of the thirsty sterile Mecca”. Another element is soon added to complete the Paradise of the pleasure-loving Arabs –”Theirs shall be gardens and vineyards, and damsels with swelling bosoms, of an equal age, and a full cup” (78,31).
“In the oft described shady garden ‘with fruits and meats, and beakers of wine causing not the head to ache, neither disturbing the reason”, these damsels of the paradise are introduced as “Lovely large-eyed girls resembling pearls hidden in their shells, a reward for that which the faithful have wrought. …Verily We have created them of a rare creation; We have made them virgins, fascinating, of an equal age” (52:21).
The believers after entering Paradise would assume completely changed appearances and hence the hadith of Sahih Muslim says,
“The (members) of the first group to get into the paradise would have their faces as bright as full moon during the night, and the next group would have their faces as bright as the shining stars in the sky” (Sahih Muslim: 6793).
Not only their appearances but also their physiology as well as metabolic activities would also be greatly altered.
“The members of the first group that would be admitted to the paradise would have their faces as bright as the full moon during the night. They would neither spit nor suffer catarrh, nor void excrement. They would have their utensils and their combs made of gold and silver and the fuel of their braziers would be aloes and their sweat will be musk and every one of them would have two spouses (so beautiful) that the marrow of their shanks would be visible through the flesh. There would be no dissension amongst them and no enmity in their hearts”. (Sahih Muslim: 6797, 6798, 6800).
“They (the dwellers of paradise) would neither pass water, nor void excrement, nor will they suffer from catarrh, nor will they spit, and their combs would be made of gold, and their sweat will be musk, the fuel of their brazier will be aloes, and their wives will be large-eyed maidens and their form would be alike as one single person after the form of their father (Adam) sixty cubits tall” (Sahih Muslim: 6795, 6796).
To describe His Paradise, Allah, in Koran, says,
“The righteous shall surely dwell in bliss. Reclining upon soft couches they will gaze around them; and in their faces you shall mark the glow of joy. They shall drink of a pure wine, securely sealed, whose very dregs are musk, for this let all men emulously strive; a wine tempered with the waters of Tasnim, a spring at which the favoured will refresh themselves” (36.5-22).
“But the true servants of Allah shall be well provided for, feasting on fruit, and honoured in the gardens of delight. Reclining face to face upon soft couches, they shall be served with a goblet filled at a gushing fountain, white and delicious to those who drink. It will neither dull their senses nor befuddle them” (37: 47).
“As for the righteous, they shall surely triumph. Theirs shall be gardens and vineyards, and high-bosomed maidens for companions: a truly overflowing cup” (78: 31).
“But in fair gardens the righteous shall dwell in bliss, rejoicing in what their Lord will give them. They shall recline on couches ranged in rows. To dark-eyes houris, We shall wed them. Fruits we shall give them, and such meats as they desire. They will pass from hand to hand a cup inspiring no idle talk, no sinful urge; and there shall wait on them young boys of their own as Fair as virgin pearls” (52:17-24).
“But for those that fear the majesty of their Lord there are two gardens planted with shady trees. Which of your Lord's blessings would you deny? Each is watered by a flowing spring. Each bears every kind of fruit in pairs. They shall recline on couches lined with thick brocade, and within their reach will hang the fruits of both gardens.” (55: 46-55)
“The righteous shall drink of a cup tempered at the Camphor Fountain, a gushing spring at which the servants of Allah will refresh themselves: Allah will, reward them for their steadfastness with robes of silk and the delights of Paradise. Reclining there upon soft couches, they shall feel neither the scorching heat nor the biting cold. Trees will spread their shade around them, and fruits will hang in clusters over them. They shall be served with silver dishes, and beakers as large as goblets; silver goblets which they themselves shall measure; and cups brim-full with ginger- flavoured water from the Fount of Selsabil.” (76:5-18)
“On that day there shall be radiant laces, of men well-pleased with their labours, in a lofty garden. There they shall hear no idle talk. A gushing fountain shall be there, and raised soft couches with goblets placed before them; silken cushions ranged in order and carpets richly spread” (88:8-16).
“The righteous shall surely dwell in bliss. Reclining upon soft couches they will gaze around them: and in their faces you shall mark the glow of joy. They shall drink pure wine, securely sealed, whose very dregs are musk, for this let all men emulously strive; a wine tempered with the waters of Tasnim, a spring at which the favoured will refresh themselves”. (83:22-28)
HOURIS
The chief attractions of Allah’s Paradise are houris or Heavenly damsels, who are virgins, chaste, dark eyed with swelling bosoms (perhaps comparable to Uhud) and never become older than 16 and the Koran says,
“as for the righteous, they shall surely triumph. Theirs shall be gardens and vineyards, and high-bosomed maidens for companions: a truly overflowing cup” (78:31-34).
“They shall sit with bashful, dark-eyed virgins, as chaste as the sheltered eggs of ostriches. Surely that is the supreme triumph. Let every man labour to achieve it” (37; 48-50).
“And theirs shall be dark-eyed houris, chaste as hidden pearls: a guerdon for their deeds. They shall recline on couches raised on high in the shade of thornless sidrahs and clusters of talh; amidst gushing waters and abundant fruits, unforbidden. never-ending. We created houris and made them virgins, loving companions for those on the right hand: a multitude from the men of old, and a multitude from the later”. (56:22-40).
“They (the dwellers of Paradise) shall live with bashful virgins whom neither man nor jinnee will have touched before. They would be virgins, as fair as corals and rubies. Which of your Lord's blessings would you deny? And beside these there shall be two other gardens of darkest green. A gushing fountain shall flow in each. Each planted with fruit-trees, the palm and the pomegranate. In each there shall be virgins chaste and fair. Which of your Lord's blessings would you deny? Dark-eyed virgins sheltered in their tents whom neither man nor jinnee will have touched before. They shall recline on green cushions and rich carpets. Which of your Lord's blessings would you deny? Blessed be the name of your Lord, the Lord of majesty and glory!” (55:56-78).
“As for the righteous, they shall dwell in peace together amidst gardens and fountains, arrayed in rich silks and fine brocade. Yes, and we shall wed them, to dark-eyed houris. Secure against all ills, they shall call for every kind of fruit; and, having died once, they shall die no more. Your Lord will, through His mercy, shield them from the scourge of Hell. That will be the supreme triumph.” (44:51-57)
“There would be an announcer in Paradise who would make this announcement: Verily, there is in store for you (everlasting) health and that you should never fall ill and that you live (for ever) and do not die at all. And that you would remain young and never grow old. …This is Paradise. You have been made to inherit it for what you used to do” (Sahih Muslim: 6803).
Regarding these houris, Sir W. Muir says,
“It is remarkable that the notices in the Koran of this voluptuous paradise are almost confined to a time when, whatever the tendency of his desires, Mohammad was living a chaste and temperate life with a wife threescore years of age” (Life of Mahomet, Voice of India, New Delhi, 1992, pp-76).
There is another point to note. So long the Prophet lived in Mecca with his only wife Khadija, houris were simply rewards of Allah. But later, after the death of Khadija, when the Prophet started marrying several wives, houris became legal wives. So Allah said,
“Every person would have two wives and the marrow of their shanks would glimmer beneath the flesh and there would be none without a wife in paradise” (Sahih Muslim: 6793).
It is not clearly specified how many of these heavenly damsels a believer in Paradise would get. As quoted above, somewhere Allah says that each believer would get two houries as their wives. Somewhere Allah promises many, e.g. He allots 72 of them for the saheeds (or martyrs), who die in fighting for Allah’s cause. But extreme sensuality of the Prophet of Arabia has been reflected in a hadith narrated by Abu Huraira, that says, even the most wretched, the most fallen believer in Allah’s Paradise would own a vast compound which would contain seventy mansions of pearls, every mansion would contain seventy houses of rubies, every house would have seventy rooms of emeralds, every room would contain seventy couches, and every couch would be covered with seventy carpets of every colour, and a houri would be sitting on each carpet. Furthermore, every such above mentioned rooms would have seventy tables laid out, and on every table there would be seventy dishes of seventy colours and every room would also have seventy maid slaves. Every believer would have the capability of copulating with each of these houris and maids. Simple calculations will show that the believer will get (70 x 70 x 70 x 70 x 70=) 1,680,700,000 or 1.6807 billion houris. (Ram Swarup, Understanding Islam Through Hadis, Voice of India, New Delhi, 1983, p-205).
According another hadith narrated by Abu Sa’id, all these women would put on see-through garments. “Each houri will have seventy garments, but the believer will be able to look through them and see the marrow of the bones of her legs”. Every houri will have a crown on her head, the meanest pearl of which would give light between the east and the west. According to another tradition mentioned by Aldous Huxley, every orgasm in Allah’s Paradise would last for 600 years (Aldous Huxley, Moksha, Chatto & Windus, London, 1980, p-112).
GELEMANS
Perhaps no worldly brothel has quite a good stock of young boys, to be offered to the customers to do sodomy. But in the Islamic Paradise, by the grace of most merciful Allah, each and every believer will be supplied with plenty of most charming, beautiful and obedient Heavenly young boys, called gelemans, to do sodomy with them, and hence the Koran says,
“They shall be attended by boys graced with eternal youth, who to the beholder's eyes will seem like sprinkled pearls. When you gaze upon that scene you will behold a kingdom blissful and glorious. They shall be arrayed in garments of fine green silk and rich brocade, and adorned with bracelets of silver. Their Lord will give them pure beverages to drink. Thus you shall be rewarded; your high endeavours are gratifying to Allah” (76:19-22).
“They shall be brought near to their Lord in the gardens of delight. They shall recline on jewelled couches face to face, and there shall wait on them immortal youths with bowls and ewers and a cup of purest wine, that will neither pain their heads nor take away their reason; with fruits of their own choice and flesh of fowls that they relish” (56: 11-21).
How many of these heavenly boys or gelemans a believer will own in Allah’s Paradise? A tradition says that every believer in Paradise, irrespective of his hierarchy, will own 1000 gelemans. According to another hadith narrated by Anas, everyone will get 10,000 slaves. According to a hadith narrated by Abu Sa’id, the number of slave boys, a believer will own, will be not less than 1000 and not more than 80,000 (Ram Swarup, ibid, p-205).
From the above discussions it becomes evident that Most Merciful Allah offers, in the name of Paradise, a super luxury and five star brothel to His beloved believers. There are three main aspects of a mundane brothel and they are,
(1) good food,
(2) good wine and
(3) charming women and Allah’s brothel called Paradise provides all the three in profuse quantities and that too absolutely free of cost.
In addition to that, the articles in Allah’s brothel would bear some divine qualities which can never be obtained in a worldly brothel. To mention a few are,
(a) wine in Allah’s brothel does not cause the head to ache,
(b) that wine would be securely sealed, whose very dregs are musk,
(c) the visitors of Allah’s brothel would neither pass water, nor void excrement, nor will they suffer from catarrh, nor will they spit,
(d) they would eat divine fruits and desired preparations of meat,
(e) the dark-eyed women of Allah’s brothel would always remain virgins and chaste,
(f) they would not get older than sweet sixteen,
(g) they would wear see-through garments,
(h) the visitors of the Allah’s brothel would be able to see the marrow of their bones, and above all
(i) every orgasm in Allah’s brothel with these heavenly damsels would last for 600 years.
In addition to all the above mentioned facilities, Allah’s brothel would offer another unique amenity. The visitors would be provided with pretty young boys, who would never be older than 16, for doing sodomy. Most importantly, Allah will provide all these facilities absolutely free of cost. One should also notice the tremendous insult that has been committed to woman virtue in Alla’s Paradise.
SOME OTHER FEATURES OF ALLAH’S BROTHEL
A Bengali author, Mr. A T M Rafiqul Hasan, in his book Aat Behest O Saat Dojokh (Eight kinds of Heaven and Seven Kinds of Hell, Muslim Library, Calcutta, 2003), has clarified some other rare aspects of Allah’s brothel. For example, a grape of Allah’s Paradise would contain enough juice to fill up a cask and a date palm of Paradise would be as long as twelve cubits that would not bear any seed. The trees in Allah’s Paradise would be capable of playing any kind of movement including walking. If an inmate of Paradise desires to taste a fruit, even of a distant tree, the tree would come near to him and push the desired fruit into his mouth.
It has been mentioned above that a visitor of Allah’s brothel would be able to copulate with billions of heavenly damsels or houris. But what would be the nature of ejaculation of such copulations? Mr. Rafiqul Hasan has thrown considerable light on this aspect of Allah’s brothel. He narrates that, one day a companion of the Prophet asked him to enlighten him on this matter and in his reply the Prophet said that, ejaculation of semen in Allah’s brothel would be entirely different from an ejaculation in this world:
Firstly, the semen on an inmate of Allah’s brothel would be a puff of fragrant air and an ejaculation of this peculiar semen would give the inmates a million times more pleasure than and worldly ejaculation.
Secondly, the worldly ejaculation diminishes the vigour and energy of the man. But it would be entirely opposite in Allah’s brothel. An ejaculation in Allah’s brothel would increase the vigour of the inmate by million times.
You know after reading all this I guess I too want to convert to islam not for the love of Allah but my pervert imagination of fun in heaven
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Hey all
“Relax mind, Relax body, Relax bowels, Relax. (Ed. note: and get comfortable)
Do not fall over. You are a cloud.
You are raining. Do not rain
While train Is standing at a station.
Move with the wind. Apologise where necessary”.
From “Zen and the art of going to the Lavatory” by Grunthos the Flatulen
I include the above quote for two reasons. Firstly, it is excellent advice for anyone; and secondly because the current business plan has something of “the question to the answer 42” about it. We could spend many hours, days and weeks agonising over the possible questions that could result in this final answer to “Investment company category 2”, the Universe and Everything. However, since I wish to be back in India this Century, we shall no doubt decide that the question is in fact “What should these buggers do to set up the company in next 1 year”
Well its been 1 year since I have written nething not that i had nething worthwhile to write but still....past 1 year have been really great for me have been to the most remotest parts of India and realize that there is more to life than just feeling sad...spent a good 6 months in a place called Solapur well I am sure not many are aware that such a place exist well it is a city and in south eastern Maharashtra, near the Karnataka border. Solapur is a melting pot with a confluence of Marathi, Telugu and Kannada languages. It is an important junction on the north-south railway line. Solapur is a town with an array of small and medium scale industries. Solapur is or rather was a leading center for cotton mills and power looms. Solapur bed-sheets ('chaddars') have earned fame and reputation for their novel designs and durability and I have ample of them so if any of interested in getting some then don’t hesitate to contact me. The chief deity of the city is Shri Siddeshwar.The "Nandidhwaj" procession on Makar Sankranti fair is attended by millions of devotees.
Solapur is transport hub connecting Maharashtra, Karnataka and Andhra Pradesh. It is well connected by Road and Rail to major districts and cities. Akkalkot is the site of Akkalkot Swami Maharaj Math, visited yearly by huge number of people from Maharashtra and neighboring Karnataka. Also a annual fair is held in the month of January wherein huge crowd comes from various parts of country, which is called as Gadda Fair in vernacular language.
Well the High point of my stay in Solapur was my birthday…apparently there are not many places there where you can have fun so I gave my “Party” in a place where the major component was liquor (as usual) now what happens when you give unlimited alcohol to men who “don’t-usually-drink-but-when-given-free-would-make-most-of-it” yeah you are right lot of puke…so you see my birthday ended up being a puke and blood festival where ppl were wishing you while puking…you know staying in Solapur made me venture into an alternate career also ie riding a bullockarts you see Solapur have these sugar mills which work for 8 months a year (as sugarcane is not harvested in winters) and they employ these bullockarts to get sugarcane (personally I believe that to be an unfair treatment to the animals) well these bullockart drivers are hired by these mills for 8 months and they make about 60K INR a month that is more than the salary I was getting in Cedar and as I was kind of free all the time I did think of getting that job
Well after that most of my time was spent understanding what a woman wants and ultimately I have realized that it is not possible as I find most of my fellow collegeous able to relate to what I am going thru as they went the same for example some how I believe the line “you don’t understand me “ holds the key to all arguments you see I always find my self fighting with the fairer sex and winning the argument and kind of feeling good about it that I get to hear those lines and then there is a silence and it is declared that I have lost because hearing this the sensitive side on me says that I have really traumatized the fairer sex and the last 1 hour I was feeling about giving all logical and statistical argument how she was wrong have to be changed and another hour is spent using the same statistics to prove that she was right…I mean cant we men ever win an argument ??????????
Do not fall over. You are a cloud.
You are raining. Do not rain
While train Is standing at a station.
Move with the wind. Apologise where necessary”.
From “Zen and the art of going to the Lavatory” by Grunthos the Flatulen
I include the above quote for two reasons. Firstly, it is excellent advice for anyone; and secondly because the current business plan has something of “the question to the answer 42” about it. We could spend many hours, days and weeks agonising over the possible questions that could result in this final answer to “Investment company category 2”, the Universe and Everything. However, since I wish to be back in India this Century, we shall no doubt decide that the question is in fact “What should these buggers do to set up the company in next 1 year”
Well its been 1 year since I have written nething not that i had nething worthwhile to write but still....past 1 year have been really great for me have been to the most remotest parts of India and realize that there is more to life than just feeling sad...spent a good 6 months in a place called Solapur well I am sure not many are aware that such a place exist well it is a city and in south eastern Maharashtra, near the Karnataka border. Solapur is a melting pot with a confluence of Marathi, Telugu and Kannada languages. It is an important junction on the north-south railway line. Solapur is a town with an array of small and medium scale industries. Solapur is or rather was a leading center for cotton mills and power looms. Solapur bed-sheets ('chaddars') have earned fame and reputation for their novel designs and durability and I have ample of them so if any of interested in getting some then don’t hesitate to contact me. The chief deity of the city is Shri Siddeshwar.The "Nandidhwaj" procession on Makar Sankranti fair is attended by millions of devotees.
Solapur is transport hub connecting Maharashtra, Karnataka and Andhra Pradesh. It is well connected by Road and Rail to major districts and cities. Akkalkot is the site of Akkalkot Swami Maharaj Math, visited yearly by huge number of people from Maharashtra and neighboring Karnataka. Also a annual fair is held in the month of January wherein huge crowd comes from various parts of country, which is called as Gadda Fair in vernacular language.
Well the High point of my stay in Solapur was my birthday…apparently there are not many places there where you can have fun so I gave my “Party” in a place where the major component was liquor (as usual) now what happens when you give unlimited alcohol to men who “don’t-usually-drink-but-when-given-free-would-make-most-of-it” yeah you are right lot of puke…so you see my birthday ended up being a puke and blood festival where ppl were wishing you while puking…you know staying in Solapur made me venture into an alternate career also ie riding a bullockarts you see Solapur have these sugar mills which work for 8 months a year (as sugarcane is not harvested in winters) and they employ these bullockarts to get sugarcane (personally I believe that to be an unfair treatment to the animals) well these bullockart drivers are hired by these mills for 8 months and they make about 60K INR a month that is more than the salary I was getting in Cedar and as I was kind of free all the time I did think of getting that job
Well after that most of my time was spent understanding what a woman wants and ultimately I have realized that it is not possible as I find most of my fellow collegeous able to relate to what I am going thru as they went the same for example some how I believe the line “you don’t understand me “ holds the key to all arguments you see I always find my self fighting with the fairer sex and winning the argument and kind of feeling good about it that I get to hear those lines and then there is a silence and it is declared that I have lost because hearing this the sensitive side on me says that I have really traumatized the fairer sex and the last 1 hour I was feeling about giving all logical and statistical argument how she was wrong have to be changed and another hour is spent using the same statistics to prove that she was right…I mean cant we men ever win an argument ??????????
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